Jesus Surrogate Family

In response to different abuse of the church that has happened in different parts of the world, many have wrongly emphasized the separation of loyalty to God, from loyalty to God's Group. Consequently, Christians have developed a commitment order that is totally opposite to the teachings of Jesus and the apostles. To several Christians, their loyalty order is: (1st) God - (2nd) Natural Family - (3rd) Church - (4th) Others. As religiously appealing as this order might appear, it is inherently problematic and directly unbiblical. It makes the subtle mistake of separating God from God's Group and equally promotes an order at variance with Christ's.

To the early Christians, their loyalty to Christ is expressed directly by their loyalty to Christ's group, their fellow brothers and sisters in God. They understood that their commitment to God, cannot be separated from their commitment to God's group, and also cannot be placed second to anything else. This inseparable commitment to God and God's group is consistently reflected in the stories of the early church found in the book of Acts and other biblical accounts of the early church. Anyone who has studied the radical view of Jesus Christ when it comes to loyalty to one's natural family as compared to God's group will certainly agree that the family paradigm of the early church is a direct reflection of Jesus' vision for a new idea of family.

A young man once said to Jesus, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father, and then I will come and join your group'. And Jesus gave one of the most anti-family answers anyone can think of, 'Follow me and let the dead bury their own dead.' (Matthew 8:21-22) Wow! Jesus expected this person to treat His discipleship group as a greater priority compared to going to bury his own father. Interesting! One time his biological mother and siblings sought his attention: 'Then Jesus' mother and brothers came and stood outside. They sent someone in to summon Him, and a crowd was sitting around Him. 'Look,' He was told, 'Your mother and brothers are outside, asking for You.' But Jesus replied, 'Who are My mother and My brothers?' And having looked around at those who were sitting around Him in a circle, He says, 'Behold, My mother and My brothers!'' (Mark 3:31-34) in other words, 'my main family is my surrogate family - those who do the will of God'.

As though people of his days were finding it difficult to reconcile that Jesus meant what he was saying, he expressed his vision even more plainly: 'Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law' a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.' Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me.' (Matthew 10:34-38) Can you see how much Jesus wanted his disciples to put loyalty to his new group far more than that of their family. It is obvious from this passage that loyalty to Jesus can seriously compromise loyalty to one's biological family.

Moreover, I believe these passages communicate more than being detached from one's biological family to follow Christ. It is more about how important our loyalty to our new family in Christ Jesus is. And the disciples' response does demonstrate this perspective. A couple of years after Jesus made these assertions, we saw the manner of His followers' loyalty and commitment to each other: Acts 4:34-37 summaries it thus: 'There were no needy ones among them because those who owned lands or houses would sell their property, bring the proceeds from the sales, and lay them at the apostles' feet for distribution to anyone as he had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (meaning Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned, brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet.'

Finally, the use of family terms in the New Testament to describe members of the church was deliberate and demonstrated clearly that coming to Christ means having a sense of being a new and more important family. Several writings of the apostles communicate this: 'This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.' (1 John 3:16-18) 'So then, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.' (Galatians 6:10) 'There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you, are all one in Christ Jesus.' (Galatians 3:28) I remember one time my brother wanted to social engineer me by saying 'blood is thicker than water' and I responded saying, 'if blood is thicker than water, then the blood of Jesus is thickest of all'.